my self control goes tttbhhhhh (i.e. down the tubes) when humidity rises. it probably translates into some kind of graph but i'm not smart enough to figure it out. and i think all my brains have been cooked out. i wonder what's up there in my head right now? probably a little pancake. made of my brain. good bye brain.
it's hard when you know that complaining definitely isn't the right thing to do but all you want to do is complain... such a predicament. i wonder if it counts as complaining if it's all inside your head?
but as i pondered this with what little amount of brains i had left, i think that it just has to be an attitude shift...focus on what's good. i have a job! i get paid money! i wanted summer the whole winter! thank you for my life!
yeah way easier said than done.
but i guess it has to be done.
thankfulness. it's hard. especially when it's 100 degrees.
Photo credit: Kylie Lanae
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
that rocky place
it's not to say that i know everything, but then again...i know everything.
(not really.)
but, i do know some things, i think. not that many, but some.. enough to get by.
my friend told me about this european style of poetry where you just write down your thoughts, sort of like a stream of consciousness (think James Joyce' Ulysses), except this is in poetry form. i think it's cool! it's like.. your brain, randomly vomiting out thoughts, in blank verse. that's definitely cool and rather weird, though hard for somebody else to read because it's not their brain... ANdd, i was also reading some e.e.cummings recently, which also inspired me. here is my Stream of consciousness/blank verse/euro poetry about... dum da dum...
Rocks!
rocks are like hearts.
whenever you break one, pieces go everywhere
skadooosh and then there's just a giant mess to clean up.
i think that we all should turn our hearts to fluffy pillows;
we'd never break them.
but then again what's life without a little pain?
you hurt me i hurt you we're an unhappy family...
take it back to the days when i was still your number one baby it can be done! [sorry getting all jay sean on you there]
but no i forgot already! my heart was busted and you can't have it back.
not even one shard of it, no, i took them all back and i kept them in a jar like fireflies
now i watch that jar at night and wish the pieces could glow
but they just don't.
rocks don't glow.
how thick can you get?
photo credit: james jordan
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Is it time?
Shifting grass,
Fleeting winds,
Elusive mirage.
So goes time;
Stop! Look! wait...
it's gone away.
Time leaves us breathless, eventually, literally. Why don't I remember that each day, as I waste it and use it and spend it? good bye to the time i will never get back... hello to the time in my future which is not for certain... you look long in coming, but you come all the same, and it's never as long as i thought it would be. and then, you're gone away. I fade each day fade to where i knew i would be fading. we call it death but it's just the passing of time. don't worry, just wisely. use it wisely. count the minutes for you know it will all be gone by the time you remember to look back.
Ecclesiastes 12:1-7
"Remember your Creator
in the days of your youth,
before the days of trouble come
and the years approach when you will say,
“I find no pleasure in them”—
2 before the sun and the light
and the moon and the stars grow dark,
and the clouds return after the rain;
3 when the keepers of the house tremble,
and the strong men stoop,
when the grinders cease because they are few,
and those looking through the windows grow dim;
4 when the doors to the street are closed
and the sound of grinding fades;
when people rise up at the sound of birds,
but all their songs grow faint;
5 when people are afraid of heights
and of dangers in the streets;
when the almond tree blossoms
and the grasshopper drags itself along
and desire no longer is stirred.
Then people go to their eternal home
and mourners go about the streets.
6 Remember him—before the silver cord is severed,
and the golden bowl is broken;
before the pitcher is shattered at the spring,
and the wheel broken at the well,
7 and the dust returns to the ground it came from,
and the spirit returns to God who gave it."
Fleeting winds,
Elusive mirage.
So goes time;
Stop! Look! wait...
it's gone away.
Time leaves us breathless, eventually, literally. Why don't I remember that each day, as I waste it and use it and spend it? good bye to the time i will never get back... hello to the time in my future which is not for certain... you look long in coming, but you come all the same, and it's never as long as i thought it would be. and then, you're gone away. I fade each day fade to where i knew i would be fading. we call it death but it's just the passing of time. don't worry, just wisely. use it wisely. count the minutes for you know it will all be gone by the time you remember to look back.
Ecclesiastes 12:1-7
"Remember your Creator
in the days of your youth,
before the days of trouble come
and the years approach when you will say,
“I find no pleasure in them”—
2 before the sun and the light
and the moon and the stars grow dark,
and the clouds return after the rain;
3 when the keepers of the house tremble,
and the strong men stoop,
when the grinders cease because they are few,
and those looking through the windows grow dim;
4 when the doors to the street are closed
and the sound of grinding fades;
when people rise up at the sound of birds,
but all their songs grow faint;
5 when people are afraid of heights
and of dangers in the streets;
when the almond tree blossoms
and the grasshopper drags itself along
and desire no longer is stirred.
Then people go to their eternal home
and mourners go about the streets.
6 Remember him—before the silver cord is severed,
and the golden bowl is broken;
before the pitcher is shattered at the spring,
and the wheel broken at the well,
7 and the dust returns to the ground it came from,
and the spirit returns to God who gave it."
Monday, July 18, 2011
Perspective is a lovely hand to hold
Perspective...it's not always what you want to hear. This blog is dedicated to saying those words, because I need to hear them, because you need to hear them, because the world needs to hear them.
Something I've thought about a whole lot is "what does it take to have a meaningful life?" Where do I find purpose? It's not in school and it's not in my friends and it's not in partying, because all of those things never can satisfy.... so where do I go to find this purpose?? What's the meaning of life? is it really 42?!
I've had it good in my life. I know that. I've never had to pay my own doctor's bill because my parents couldn't, had to steal to eat, had to whatever. I don't have it perfect though, and I find a lot to complain about.
Sure, you've got it bad, I'll agree. Maybe you've got it really bad, and I'm sorry for that. But the reality is, there are people in this world who've got it worse -- a LOT worse. People whose parents died of AIDS, left alone at age seven. People who are trapped in the human trafficking system, viciously abused with no apparent way out. People who are in real slavery, slavery of endless nothingness. People whose families were killed in the tsunami, the earthquake, the tornado.
So let me ask you: why are you focusing on YOU?
Complaining about your job, your stupid brother, you can't get an iPad? That's about you. Focusing on who's friends with you and who couldn't care less? That's about you. I think we forget that it's not about us. It's about Jesus and the purpose he can give us, what he's given us on this earth, and what he wants us to be. To whom much is given, much is required. Most people in America have been given much. If you have a job, you've been given much. If you have food to eat every day, you've been given much. If you woke up this morning, you've been given much. We have been given so much :) What will be required?
Something is out there, and it's something big; something that I want to be part of.
Something I've thought about a whole lot is "what does it take to have a meaningful life?" Where do I find purpose? It's not in school and it's not in my friends and it's not in partying, because all of those things never can satisfy.... so where do I go to find this purpose?? What's the meaning of life? is it really 42?!
I've had it good in my life. I know that. I've never had to pay my own doctor's bill because my parents couldn't, had to steal to eat, had to whatever. I don't have it perfect though, and I find a lot to complain about.
Sure, you've got it bad, I'll agree. Maybe you've got it really bad, and I'm sorry for that. But the reality is, there are people in this world who've got it worse -- a LOT worse. People whose parents died of AIDS, left alone at age seven. People who are trapped in the human trafficking system, viciously abused with no apparent way out. People who are in real slavery, slavery of endless nothingness. People whose families were killed in the tsunami, the earthquake, the tornado.
So let me ask you: why are you focusing on YOU?
Complaining about your job, your stupid brother, you can't get an iPad? That's about you. Focusing on who's friends with you and who couldn't care less? That's about you. I think we forget that it's not about us. It's about Jesus and the purpose he can give us, what he's given us on this earth, and what he wants us to be. To whom much is given, much is required. Most people in America have been given much. If you have a job, you've been given much. If you have food to eat every day, you've been given much. If you woke up this morning, you've been given much. We have been given so much :) What will be required?
Something is out there, and it's something big; something that I want to be part of.
[photo by Caroline Kennedy Photography]
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